Elsa Mora

If you Believe in Magic, Magic will Happen!

I came running from Diego's school to share something wonderful with you. Something magic just happened! Here is the story:

I religiously spend about 25-30 minutes in Diego's school playground every single morning, from Monday to Friday. I have been doing this since Diego was in Kindergarten. By keeping this routine Diego is consistently exposed to an environment where he can get social clues about how children interact in a spontaneous dynamic. My hope has been that one day he will learn how to connect with other children on his own, without the participation of adults. I believe that adult help is key for Autistic children (which Diego has all the time) but I also believe that it's a positive thing to give Diego the freedom to figure things out on his own, from experience.

Diego is able to engage in play with children from his class and from his social skills group. But when he's in a situation where he doesn't know the children, then he never initiates a play and he doesn't follow kids that want to interact with him neither. That's what I see every morning in the playground. Non of the children from his class go to the playground, for various reasons, so he's there on his own.

Every morning when we arrive in the playground he has the same routine. He walks in circles around the playground. Then he runs following the same path and then he goes up to a little bridge and jumps over and over again. He loves doing that. But he does all of this alone while all the rest of the children are engaged in their own games. There was a time when I actively tried to help him connect with other children but it didn't work so I decided to trust the fact that Diego is a good learned. I think that in order to learn you need some space so I did that.

Sometimes, just to get an idea of how Diego is feelings I ask: Sweetie, do you like the playground? Do you like the kids in the playground? Do you want to keep going there in the morning? His answer has always been YES. But if you see how disconnected he looks from the children in the playground you would imagine that he's not happy over there. The thing is that I had to learn how to see beyond my eyes. 

Well, today is the day that I have been waiting for!! It was a normal day, he was doing the usual thing. I was talking with other mothers when suddenly Diego comes running to me. Two adorable smaller kids were having fun chasing him. Diego hugged me and with a mix of excitement and confusion, like expecting some kind of clarification he said: Mom! Those kids are chasing me!! I have been so ready for this moment that I immediately said: That is sooo cool!!! Go ahead and have fun chasing them now! Go! Go! They're waiting for you! So he did it. He started chasing the kids, they were laughing and having so much fun. Then they went to the slide and started playing together and taking turns. Then they run again...For a few minutes Diego was one more kid in the playground, having fun, sweating, smiling, his face was read. His body and mind were 100% activated.

I have visualized this scene in my mind so many times! And today it became real. This seems to be such a small thing but it was HUGE for me! It was a milestone. This is the first time that Diego engages in a play with other kids totally on his own, outside the group of children that he's familiar with. It's too bad that I didn't have a camera to take a picture. His face was so radiant! He was so happy!! I know that this is just the beginning of a long road.

Here is what I learned from this experience:

*Follow your instincts and always do what feels right.

*Have hope.

*Be extremely patient and consistent.

*Don't give up.

*Belive in magic and magic will happen.

*Visualize your dreams as if they were real.

*Be ready for what you want so you know what to do when it happens.

*Don't ever believe that idea that Autistic children prefer to be on their own. They do want to belong, they want to have friends, they want to be accepted and they want to have fun. They just don't know how to do it naturally. They don't "prefer" to be on their own, that's what they do because it's just easier or because they have been so affected by their unsuccessful attemps that they decided to give up trying. But very deep within, every Autistic child wants the same things that neurotypical children want.

Much love!

Elsita :)

 

 

 

Feliz cumpleaños to me :)

New painting for my upcoming show in Miami, Florida.

Today I'm turning 41 years old so I decided to list 41 of the many lessons that life has taught me so far:

1. Forgiving those who hurt you is the first step to personal growth.

2. Make a conscious effort to remember your past. Many of the clues that help us solve current problems are found in the past.

3. Be excited about the future. Anything can be better in the future if we star building it today.

 

4. If you want to enjoy the beauty of life be present in everything you do.  

5. Don't judge others. Just observe, listen and learn from them. Every single person on Earth has something to teach you. 

6. Real wealth has nothing to do with money. 

7. Do good things for other people. By doing so you're planting little seeds of love. Those seeds will feed your soul when you most need it.

8. Be gentle and patient with yourself, everyday. 

9. Be brave enough to apologize when you do something wrong. 

10. The greatest lessons are learned from whatever hurt you. 

11. Smile and life will smile back to you. A smile is understood in every culture and in every languaje. 

12. Spend time in solitude often. It will give you space for listening, feeling and seeing more than when you're surrounded by people.

13. Enjoy human presence. Human energy is the strongest of all energies.

14. We need to learn more from animals. They live simpler and happier lives. They deserve our respect.

15. Suffering comes from wanting and expecting things all the time.

16. Happiness is a state of mind. It's accepting ourselves and everything else in a peaceful manner. Just like nature does.

17. Don't try to change other people. Just accept them, love them exactly as they are. That will inspire them to be better.

18. Don't define yourself in any way. We're not something made in a factory with a label that says what we are. Just be whatever you want to be.

19. Parenthood is one of the hardest and most rewarding things in life.

20. The most important thing that every child wants is: your attention.

21. Creating special rituals and habits with your children is like planting seeds for the future. One day that's what they're going to remember from the past.  

22. Being nice to other people doesn't mean that you have to be naive. Let your intuition alert you when someone has bad intentions so you can protect yourself.

23. You don't have to say yes to everything. Even when everybody else is doing it.

24. Our time and energy is precious and limited. Think well before you decide how to spend it.

25. Don't run away from your emotions and feelings. They are our most important communicators. They let us know everything that we need to know about ourselves.

26. What really works when it comes to healthy eating is to develop a functional relationship with food. 

27. Pay attention to your appearance. Stay nice and clean. It will help you stay connected with your body and soul.

28. Be considerate with people that have physical disabilities. But don't feel sorry or underestimate them. They are probably stronger than you imagine. Having to overcome daily limitations builds a stronger character. 

29. Be nice with children and adults with special needs. If you're open to them you will be surprised by how much they have to offer.

30. If someone needs your help don't ignore it or make a big deal out of it. Whether the person is disabled or not, just be spontaneous, natural and enjoy helping.

31. Be always curious. Read, ask, research, learn as much as possible.

32. Knowledge is nothing without experience. In order to really learn something you have to somehow experience it yourself.

33. Be open to new experiences, don't be afraid to try something new. It will revitalize your mind and body. It will make your life more interesting.

34. Let the most important people in your life know that you love them. Write a letter with a list of the things that you love about that person. 

35. Be creative in everything you do. Creativity can solve anything.

36. Don't be afraid to disagree with someone. Just do it in a gentle way. There is more power in being calm than in being aggressive. 

37. Don't do anything when you're angry. Otherwise you will end up hurting someone else or yourself.

38. Nothing stays the same for a long time. Be aware that change is part of life. Some changes will be positive and some negative. Be open to both of them so you won't be unprepared when they arrive. 

39. Stress is part of modern society but you don't have to let it take over your life. A simple solution to reduce stress: define your priorities and eliminate everything else. Simplify your life in every possible way.

40. Enjoy your friends. You won't know how important they are until they're gone.

41. The best way to stay connected to life is to be aware of death. Our time is limited so do what you want to do, now.

 

 

A Small Difference.

In this society where we need to become experts at not drowning in the sea of superficiality coming out from so many places, I constantly need to remind myself to stop, take a deep breath and look at my roots so I can stay connected to human essence.

Yesterday I watched a very modest video about the lives of 3 women from the province where I was born in Cuba (watch below). It broke my heart. It was like revisiting my past. I saw my Mom in each one of these women. I grew up in a very similar environment. These women are part of that invisible group of human beings that exist all over the world right now. They're struggling. They don't have the basic things. They don't have dreams anymore, they just try to keep going one day at a time.

And here I am with all these luxuries: a nice car, a nice house, computers, telephones, nice clothes, air conditioner/heater, water 24 hours a day, electricity, food...All those things that make life easier and that we tend to take for granted.

Three weeks ago I felt a deep need to simplify my life. It all started with a funny feeling in my stomach. I got rid of 50% of my shoes and clothes. I got rid of so many objects. Each trip to Goodwill was a relief. The more things I took out of my house the lighter I felt inside. My heart came to the realization that the less material things I had the more space for the spirit.

I am grateful for the life I have, for the family I have, for my friends. But a part of my heart is sad to know that right now, as I write this, there are so many people out there struggling. I know that I can't change the world. But I will always give my best from this modest place that I have in the universe. I will always try to make a small difference by raising children that are sensitive and considerate, by creating art that is meaningful and by being as real as possible. But one day when the kids are older and I have the freedom to travel, I also want to do concrete things to help people from the province where I was born in Cuba, specially women. 

 

Femina Plantarum. (#2)

 

Growing hurts. Transformation is a bumpy ride full of obstacles, but it is the only way to progress. As Frederick Douglass said: "If there is no struggle, there is no progress." I have witnessed the truth behind these words over and over again from my own experience and from observing other people. 

Based on this idea I felt the urge to create a series of works that were visually provocative. Something that suggested growth and transformation. Something that shaked my senses a little bit. That's how I started working on Femina Plantarum.

I think that growth has a lot to do with reaching into dark places and with being brave enough to look at those places in the eye. For the tree to grow strong and healthy there is always the roots deeply embedded in the darkness of the soil. To become a strong and emotionally healthy person we need to deal with the dark side of life. 

Light and darkness, day and night: two sides of a coin. We need to embrace both, the positive and the negative aspects of life because both are part of what we are. In order to go/grow in the right direction and to make good use of our potential we need to be in peace both sides of the coin.

 

I saw The Two Fridas in Person.

I went to the LACMA in order to see: In Wonderland: The Surrealist Adventures of Women Artists in Mexico and the United States. It was one of the most intense experiences that I ever had in a museum.

As soon as I entered the room where The Two Fridas was (this is the largest painting by Frida Kahlo) my heart started beeting very fast, my hands started sweating and I felt a subtle heat coming up to my face. Tears came out of my eyes. For a minute I felt like the whole universe was right there in front of me. It was a magic experience that I will never forget.

 The language of art is something amazing. It can talk to you in such deep ways. I am extremely grateful for artists like Frida Kahlo. If you are in Los Angeles CA, I highly recommend that you see this show. You won't regret it.