Good-Bye Ring...

And Good morning my friend :)
Today I want to share something with you that is going to sound a little sad: I lost the engagement ring that Bill gave me in 2002 in a lovely lunch at some Japanese restaurant near his old office. I don't know if I will ever see it again. The ring has been missing for a couple of months now. I thought that I was going to find it but I am not sure about that anymore. It is possible that Diego or Natalie took it from my closet. I have never seen two kids more attracted to jewelry than Natalie and Diego.

I have gone through a whole rainbow of feelings since I realized that my ring was missing: First I was sad, then I was mad at myself, then hopeful (because I thought that I was going to find it) then later I felt so sorry about Bill who gave me something so special and in the end I felt really guilty because I thought that I should have placed it in a safer place. Fortunately I tend to be my own therapist so I gave myself a couple of free private sessions to recover from this loss and now I can finally say that I am fine.

I spent lots of time thinking about how we turn objects into meaningful things, at the point that loosing them makes us experience emotional pain. Objects are just objects but what makes them meaningful is US. An object is as special as we think it is and what we think about objects is always connected to human feelings, memories, dreams, legacy... etc, the meaning is basically something that we build in our mind. I have a dear friend who lost all her personal objects in a fire. I remember having a conversation where she said that immediately after the fire she experienced an unexpected liberating feeling. She realized that the most important thing that she had was herself and her memories and both of them were intact after the fire.

Now that I lost my engagement ring I realize that more than the ring the most important thing is Bill and I as a couple and how we stay together and strong in the difficult times and in the happy times. So today I want to say good-bye engagement ring, wherever you are right now you should know that I will always keep a special place for you...in my mind :)

I hope that there is some virtual place out there in the universe for all the special lost objects. If you ever lost something special maybe it will find its way to that virtual place and together with my ring they will be happy knowing that we still love and remember them for what they meant to us.

Now I wish you a wonderful Friday, a wonderful weekend and I will see you on Monday!
Elsita :)

Comments

[Shelley Noble]

Elsita, Your ring is the most gorgeous one I have ever seen in my life. Both the one you now wear so well in your heart and the one you have so beautifully illustrated in paper. Now, those are the sort of jewels I can rave and get excited about!

[Beatriz]

Elsa, te leo desde hace un par de meses y estoy absolutamente impresionada con tu sensibilidad.
El dibujo de hoy, la representación del anillo y el pájaro volando... simplemente brillante!

la próxima vez que pierdas algo, reza a "los ojitos de la Virgen", ella siempre lo encuentra!

un fuerte y cariñoso abrazo desde España,

Beatriz

[Amy]

Oh Elsita, we all have lost something in our lives that we wish we could get back. I have. A long time ago, I said to myself, "if I were given 3 wishes that would come true, one of them would be that my lost jewelry would be returned to me.", and the other 2 would of course be wishes for wonderful things in human life.
But, it's not just jewelry, yesterday I mistakenly erased my video of Gabriel receiving his diploma from my digital camera. I wanted to cry. And while I was franticly trying to find it on my computer,(because I was sure I had downloaded it there)it was not anywhere. Gabriel came up behind me ,rested his chin on my head & said" Mom, it's O.K."
That did make me feel better, but, I still layed in bed, thinking about it.
So, to the little bits & pieces that get lost in our life's. Yes rejoice & be grateful for all beauty and love that is right in front of us. oxoxox, amy

[Stéphanie M.]

Hello Elsa, Excuse me for the bad english, I'm french. I'm artist, 36 years old, and doing papercuts and others things. I think your creations are very beautiful. My husband Tony is artist too and enjoy posts about the world of cinema, his passion.
I will come again, friendly...

[gina b]

You never know about the ring. I was heart broken when I lost my engagement ring. I decided the lesson was not to hold on tightly to worldly things. Then about two years later my husband found my ring. I was thrilled. But the lesson was well learned. You are right, things are just things. But maybe in two years you will find your ring too. Treasure the memory.

[Margaret Oomen]

My husband and I were poor university students when we were engaged so we decided to buy food instead of spending money on a ring. When it came time for our wedding, we were still students with no money so a two people donated their wedding bands to us. We had them melted down and reformed into two very simple gold bands. We were criticized for using the wedding rings of divorced people and were told that this would not bode well for our union. We have been married for almost 26 years now so I guess we have proven them wrong. I can't lose my band because I actually can't get it off my finger . It is like a wire around a tree in the forest where the tree has grown around it. I can't even feel it on my finger anymore because it is so comfortable there. Funny coincidence about the subject of rings is that I just finished up a textile ring I made last night . I hope to post some pictures of it later this weekend. Have a fantastic weekend elsita!!!

[kirsten]

So wisely put, elsita.

xo,
kirsten

[Ellen]

Wonderful illustration to represent your loss. I remember almost losing my wedding ring once ~ you do feel myriad emotions. But then you remind yourself that life is fleeting, and it often can make you ponder on what is really important. Like your husband...who is irreplaceable.

[Yuri]

Oh Elsa, I know exactly how you feel!! the guilt is so unbereable that I totally stop thinking about it.. I just blank the thought of the loss cause I can relive it again and again in my head! It wasn´t my engagement ring but a very very precious necklace that my family got me. It is so valuable to me and I forgot it in the hairdressers!! The worst thing is that I still can see the girl who picked it up.. argh! and when I remembered and came to ask, nobody knew anything.. I begged but nothing! I felt soooo silly! And that was 9 years ago_!!!!!!
Oh well... live and learn... Good weekend!

[sukey]

i think many of us have lost rings (i at two so far, lol) since i have my hands in glue, paint etc most days i no longer wear my rings. my sil lost her rings and replaced them. five yrs later she was gardening (a rare event as her SF house has a very small yard!) and she found her rings under about 12inches of dirt. so you just never know!

[Flassie's Fil'a]

Really like how you illustrated letting go.

My son lost his wedding ring in the woods
one year and went back after the snow melted
and found it.

God Bless You and Yours!!!

[Beverly LoPinto]

Dear Elsita,

I am sorry to hear about your lost engagement ring. Everything you have written about losing something and letting it go is absolutely true--- and you let it go in such a beautiful visual way that I hesitate to write what I am about to write because you have let it go, but I thought to share anyway.

Once when I lost something important a good friend of mine told me to do a prayer to Saint Anthony--the patron Saint of lost objects in the Catholic religion. I am not Catholic and she is Jewish!, but she told me that it never failed her so I thought I would try. The way I say the prayer is "Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony please come around, my (insert name of what is lost) must be found." And then I let go and forget about the object. I am telling you, it has worked for me every time! Maybe not right away and I don't use it for every single thing I lose, but eventually the lost item turns up miraculously--lost earrings, money, sunglasses etc.. Items that I thought I lost somewhere else that turn up in the car or in my house or purse! I do not know the mechanics of how this works--faith or just the power of positive thinking (which you have in abundance I've noticed :)) Somehow the universe responds. And so, that is my story on how I deal with losing things that I want to be found...

Wishing you also a wonderful weekend...

[Geo]

Exactly right. You have plenty of love wrapped around that finger.

[risa]

i lost my wedding ring on a beach in san sebastian, spain during our honeymoon, less than a week after our wedding. i too went through a range of emotions but ultimately came away with a feeling that that beach is now more meaningful to us then before. it will always mark the place of where our marriage began...we are hoping to go back eventually for our 10th anniversary (we are only on 4) and who knows? maybe i'll find the ring!

[Jennifer]

What a fantastic illustration! You never cease to amaze me, Elsita.

[Anne Maa]

You're right that it's not the thing that's important although it's an important symbol. I'm finally getting to where none of the things matter much nor are they important to me. I don't feel many wants for things and it's very liberating. Now people, experiences and memories are far more priority.

[Bek]

Beautiful illustration...Beautiful writing...

Now that you have let it go I believe it will come back to you...

(also check the cuffs of any pants and dump out all of your shoes just in case...if you haven't already...you probably have...)

Giant hugs and thank you for reminding me that our stories and memories are the real and true gems....

[Amy]

Elsita, all day long, i felt badly. I wanted to say, I am so sorry that your BEAUTIFUL, VERY MOST PERFECT ring was lost.... And,as I went into my day, I found, I had not said that to you, it broke my heart. Elsita , you know, your LOVE IS MORE BEAUTIFUL than the ring.

[Amy]

Elsita, all day long, i felt badly. I wanted to say, I am so sorry that your BEAUTIFUL, VERY MOST PERFECT ring was lost.... And,as I went into my day, I found, I had not said that to you, it broke my heart. Elsita , you know, your LOVE IS MORE BEAUTIFUL than the ring.

[Magda]

Fantastic post. I'm sorry you lost your ring, but thank you for the reminder about the separation of material objects and the meaning we place onto them. I think this is a crucial concept -- as a society, we place way too much importance on the material objects around us.

[Magda]

Fantastic post. I'm sorry you lost your ring, but thank you for the reminder about the separation of material objects and the meaning we place onto them. I think this is a crucial concept -- as a society, we place way too much importance on the material objects around us.

[Victoria]

Very true.
Beautifully said.
Beautifully illustrated.

[melika]

hello Elsita,
i stumbled upon your blog today. I lost my engagement ring last year while travelling, so I'm sure I will never get it back. My sister who was with me said it's ok, i'm getting rid of bad luck (an indonesian+chinese belief when something bad happens right before you enter a new life beginning, such as a marriage). I don't know if I believe that, but she did calm me down and i will always treasure the ring in my heart.

[Claudia Marchan]

hola elsita,
hace ya un tiempo que no comento en tu blog, sin embargo no he dejado de leerla.

fijate que a mi me sucedio algo muy similar, yo perdi mi anillo de matrimonio a solo poquito de cumplir un año de casada. me senti tan triste que creo que hasta me enferme. lo perdi en una de las tormentas de nieve aqui en chicago y como podras imaginarte fue como buscar una aguja en la paja. nunca lo encontre.

voy para once años de estar casada con mi pareja y creo que no lo pudiste decir mejor, al fin y alcovo no importa tanto el anillo sino nuestras parejas y sobre todo el amor y apoyo que nos dan.

vesos y abrazos,
claudia

[Elise of Argyle Whale]

This post is so moving! I stumbled across your blog today and I love it so much! I've added a link to my blog so I'll be back frequently.