How Art Saved Me.

Sometimes I need to revisit my past and look into some of those dark moments when I was touching bottom. I remember one day in particular when I felt that I was close to say good bye. This was during a period when Cuba was going through a huge crisis in the economy. I had nothing to eat I was so skinny and malnourished, I didn’t have any income and I was all by myself living in a tiny house that it was more like an oven. I couldn’t stand the heat, I didn’t have a fan (we only had electricity a few hours a day anyway) and the day before someone stole the only money that I had from a little box in my closet while I was out.

That day I woke up and ate the only thing that I was going to have in my stomach during the next twenty-four hours: an egg. I didn’t want to do anything. I was just over there in my miserable kitchen staring at nothing and thinking: OK this is the end, I can’t make it anymore. But I was just too weak so I didn’t move. During that time the only thing that I had was my art and my Mom who sent me some little money from Holguin but I didn’t want to make her feel bad by letting her know that I was so depressed; she didn’t deserve it. Then I remember that somehow my mind took me to some funny place where I was suddenly thinking: OK Elsita, this is not happening, this is a nightmare and very soon you’re going to wake up from it…In the mind time I started an ink drawing that it took me weeks to finish.

I remember that there was this contest where I could participate and the price was 2000 Cuban pesos, a fortune! I had the illusion that if I won the price I was going to have enough money for a whole year and this was going to keep me going. Since that day all I did was work on this piece and through it I exposed all my demons and my nightmares and all the dark things that were in my life at the moment. It was liberating and it gave me a reason to do something. I sent the drawing to the contest and there I was at the opening getting my price. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT! Somehow this made me wake up and realize that I still had a long life in front of me, that I still had so much to do and see and give.

I always remember that day when I went back home with the check; it was the beginning of a new life. I promised myself that I wasn’t going to have negative ideas in my mind anymore, that I was going to keep creating and that my art was going to be my best companion. After this I started making new friends and with their help I had lots of progress in my life and my career. I remember all of them so clearly now; each one of them has given me something precious that I treasure so much; they gave me confidence, support and love. And after so many years here I am with a wonderful husband two amazing children and a wonderful stepson. And here I am sharing my life and my art with you through this blog. What an amazing school life is and the greatest lesson that I have learned from it is this: if things get really hard for you do something creative and don't ever give up!
I am so glad that I am still here!
And I am sooo glad that you are there too!!!!
Viva la vida!!!!
Elsita :)

Comments

[Sara Shalom]

Thank you for trusting us that deeply meaningful and personal story. What a testimony to healing art!

[Deirdra Doan]

Elsita,
Your story is so full of life and heart. I love the painting you did! I also love your blog, art and dress you made and on and on. I will be back often. Thank you for being so transparent. You are very encouraging.