How Art Saved Me.

Sometimes I need to revisit my past and look into some of those dark moments when I was touching bottom. I remember one day in particular when I felt that I was close to say good bye. This was during a period when Cuba was going through a huge crisis in the economy. I had nothing to eat I was so skinny and malnourished, I didn’t have any income and I was all by myself living in a tiny house that it was more like an oven. I couldn’t stand the heat, I didn’t have a fan (we only had electricity a few hours a day anyway) and the day before someone stole the only money that I had from a little box in my closet while I was out.

That day I woke up and ate the only thing that I was going to have in my stomach during the next twenty-four hours: an egg. I didn’t want to do anything. I was just over there in my miserable kitchen staring at nothing and thinking: OK this is the end, I can’t make it anymore. But I was just too weak so I didn’t move. During that time the only thing that I had was my art and my Mom who sent me some little money from Holguin but I didn’t want to make her feel bad by letting her know that I was so depressed; she didn’t deserve it. Then I remember that somehow my mind took me to some funny place where I was suddenly thinking: OK Elsita, this is not happening, this is a nightmare and very soon you’re going to wake up from it…In the mind time I started an ink drawing that it took me weeks to finish.

I remember that there was this contest where I could participate and the price was 2000 Cuban pesos, a fortune! I had the illusion that if I won the price I was going to have enough money for a whole year and this was going to keep me going. Since that day all I did was work on this piece and through it I exposed all my demons and my nightmares and all the dark things that were in my life at the moment. It was liberating and it gave me a reason to do something. I sent the drawing to the contest and there I was at the opening getting my price. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT! Somehow this made me wake up and realize that I still had a long life in front of me, that I still had so much to do and see and give.

I always remember that day when I went back home with the check; it was the beginning of a new life. I promised myself that I wasn’t going to have negative ideas in my mind anymore, that I was going to keep creating and that my art was going to be my best companion. After this I started making new friends and with their help I had lots of progress in my life and my career. I remember all of them so clearly now; each one of them has given me something precious that I treasure so much; they gave me confidence, support and love. And after so many years here I am with a wonderful husband two amazing children and a wonderful stepson. And here I am sharing my life and my art with you through this blog. What an amazing school life is and the greatest lesson that I have learned from it is this: if things get really hard for you do something creative and don't ever give up!
I am so glad that I am still here!
And I am sooo glad that you are there too!!!!
Viva la vida!!!!
Elsita :)

Comments

[liz]

what an amazing and inspiring story!
i'm glad you're here too - and thanks so much for sharing your story and your creativity with us!

[Anamaria]

Elsita, what a powerful story, and what a powerful piece of art. Thank you for sharing it with us.

[Grace]

Wow... amazing the path life and inspiration sometimes. Your story is incredible and the art thougth provoking. Wow

[Nichol Brinkman]

Elsita,
I wanted to let you know how much you have helped me through my days this past month. Just today, as I was walking my dog, I thought that I am going to email you to let you know, and then when I checked your blog and saw todays post, I knew I had to. I forget exactly how I discovered your blog, but it was when you had made those paper clay monsters, and you started creating them when life got very serious for you. My mother died 6 months ago from the same type of cancer my father died from when I was very young, up until a couple months I have felt resilient, mainly through knowing that would make my parents happy. But, something took a turn these past couple of months---and I have been in a really dark place---and I started sort of hibernating. But, I always looked forward to your posts--your little monster creations gave me some hope--I think because maybe creation is a defense. It is such an affirmation of life to be able to use our hands and create beautiful things. There's something to it, I'm not sure what, but maybe it's a way of not giving up. I loved your post today---looking at your photos, it never comes across that you suffered so much! I am so glad for you that you won that contest--and that things took such a positive turn for you. You also seem like such a wonderful mom. So, I wanted to thank you for helping me through my days! I also started a blog---I am making a pillow monster a day for 30 days as kind of a creative challenge to myself--here is the site: http://pillowmonster.blogspot.com/

Thanks again!

Nichol Brinkman

[Amy]

I think often times people fear to own up to their own dark times. But they really do teach us so much, and they are important times to go through. They make us who they are.

This post gave me goosebumps.
Thank you for sharing.

[shannon]

Thank you so much for sharing that story. It is lovely.

[Maria H.]

te quedó precioso, noy hay mayor belleza que la que viene de un lugar oscuro.

[Lisa]

Wow, what a story you have to tell. Your art work is really beautiful in such a touching way. Not sure how I found your blog but I am glad that I did.
lisaz

[colorlili]

Ese dibujo es un obra maravillosa! por lo obscuro que parezca, transmite mucha dinamica y vida a la vez!
El espiritu esta lleno de recursos incluso (o mas) en los momentos menos inesperados.
El relato de tu sobrevivencia es muy fuerte y te hizo seguramente mas fuerte y con el gran corazon que demuestras a cada creacion. Y tu positivismo es tan comunicativo! Gracias!

[Carla]

It sounds like a fairytale! But I think it is not only by doing something creative that you "rescued" yourself. I think it is a typical example from: you will get what you give.
And obviously you deserved it!

[Margie Oomen]

I feel that my life has been so enriched by meeting an amazing artist as yourself . The art you have shown us today has so much detail and amazing imagery that I could study it for hours and still only understand a fraction of it. This post reminds me again of that quote from Karsch a famous canadian photographer that " Our character like film develops in the dark". I know I wouldn't be the person I am today if I had not had dark life experiences like the loss of my father, the death of my son and others. I so appreciate your sharing of this story.

[Gretchen]

What a wonderful story. And Ms. Elsita - I have one so similar - mine was with an egg and a small hot little apartment and losing my last 20 dollars and being saved by a painting someone bought... so interesting. And the darkness of your art from that time seems so familiar also. Keep opening up and sharing your wonderful stories dear friend because I know you are helping so many... your blog always makes me feel "good". :)

[carrie]

Thank you for sharing such a difficult story from your life. Not many people like to share the hard stuff in life...even with good friends. I appreciate that you are so fearless and open--it is very inspiring. I feel that art saved me as well. After the birth of my daughter, I was lost in postpartum depression until the day I picked up needle and thread. When I feel my worst I try to express it through my craft...what a friend and companion art can be!

[Miss Dot]

oh thank you so much for sharing that with us all. Those kinds of experience really form us as people and it is important for us to share them so that we all feel more connected to each other in our experiences, good or bad. I am so glad that things worked out well for you so that you can share your beautiful art with all of us.

[laurie]

I am so glad that you are here too! Thank you for telling this story.

[kyra]

what a beautiful story. a story of true courage, the courage to risk, to express, to create.

[Sonya]

What an incredible piece of art and a truly inspiring story.

[Cassi]

What a journey you've been on! I love how you always have a story to tell along with your artwork. I agree with you that art has the ability to save people; it has brought me quite a bit of solace in difficult times.

[Louise]

Thank you Elsita, you do really contribute. Inspiring. That piece of life-art is amazing.

[belula]

Wowww....me ha encantado tu blog, tienes dibujos y muñecos realmente preciosos. Very beautiful blog!!!

[Lois Collins]

Thank you so much Elsita for telling us your incredibly touching, courageous experience.The artwork that came out of such a dark time is amazing.You'll never know what a huge inspiration you've been to me. You've made one of my dreams come to life...Lula and Crumbdog!!!! :0)Being ill for the past 8 years has been.....well,not easy! I wake up each morning and check your blog, it ALWAYS has something new to teach me, or remind me of something I already knew but had forgotten!Every day I see my collection of funny/amazing little people you've made and they make me smile!Because of your brilliant blog, I've just started one of my own!!!! Thank you for being you Elsita! :0) Big hugs, Lois xxx

[Melissa]

You are a gift to us!! Thank you world and internet for giving us Elsita!!! YEAH YOU!!!

[Laura]

thank so much, Elsita.
:)

[Danita]

Elsita, eres admirable, de verdad. Cada vez que leo tu blog me doy cuenta de cuanto podemos crecer y de cuanto somos capaces de soportar. Eres una gran persona.

[rachael]

Beautiful, beautiful work. & the story is so inspiring. It makes me stop & think that maybe someday I will be able to work on my art full time.